Angie here:  as you may know if you’ve been reading along, I’m doing my dissertation on church hurts and what we can do to help heal them.  I need input from lots of folks, so I’ve designed a survey to provide input.  You don’t have to give your name, though you can sign it if you want to.

If you take the survey, you have my deepest thanks and appreciation.  I couldn’t finish this doctorate (many years overdue) without your help!  And please, if you have a friend, relative, or coworker who would describe themselves as being one of the wounded, please direct them to this page.

One note–this survey is a little strange because at the end there’s a “next” button, which takes you to a page with another “next” button, then you arrive at the “thank you” screen.  Be sure to keep clicking until you reach the “thank you for taking the survey” button, or your answers won’t be recorded.

Thanks again!



Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.


  1. Mocha with Linda

    I’m so glad you are doing this. Wish my brother were still alive. I never knew exactly what happened but he was badly hurt in a church situation and never returned.

  2. Suzanne

    Took the survey from the viewpoint of a pastor’s wife. Would be more than happy to give you any more info that you need. Feel free to email me if you’d like.

  3. Keri Igney

    I, too, took the survey from the perspective of a staff member’s wife. Seems an entire book could be written on this subject alone. Thank you for reaching out to us, Angie. I wish you immeasurable success with your dissertation and your ongoing pursuits! You are loved!

  4. Darlene

    I would like someone to write a book maybe titled: Can Christians be guilty of bullying?

    • Sharon

      Thank you and I hope you are able to use this work for your doctorate as a springboard to a ministry or a new book.

    • Dan Basham

      Excellent idea. Pastors can certainly be guilty of this, as can many people in any position of authority. (From the perspective of a pastor)

  5. Discouraged

    Finished the survey ..

    In all that hast happened.. I do know, nothing happens, unless it’s sifted through the Hands of God first.. That is where my hope comes from.. The Lord.

  6. Teresa Mathews

    Thank you for having an interest in this terrible atrocity that should never, ever happen in the Church. Oh the sorrow our Heavenly Father must feel when things like this happen and then HE is blamed for it.

  7. Brandy Mccombs

    Hello. I took your survey. I am a pastor’s wife. I answered the questions based upon our most recent transition…I say most recent. This has happened three times. My heart’s cry is for God to use our journey to magnify His Bride. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for shedding light on this. I realize we are sinful people yet the Bride of Christ is a beautiful creation from Him and He have us the master plan via His Word so why can I not dream of a functioning, God-honoring, world-changing church? I refuse to let this dream die…….

  8. Tracy Martens

    So glad you are doing this, our family has been so hurt and devastated by our church, it actually caused my oldest daughter to leave the church and never want to have anything to do with another “Christian” we also have left and have yet to find another, maybe a little afraid to find another, which would mean putting our wounded selves back out there to try to trust anyone outside our family right now is terrifying. Long story and so completely devastated I wouldn’t even know where to start. God bless you as you write, praying for Godly wisdom for you.
    Tracy Martens

  9. CathyPeterson

    I took your survey, and used Micah in my comments. If you want to talk more in depth, (I’m more interested in your last question than the others) You can email me at this address.

  10. Shannon

    When I think of the church I think of the people who make up the church. I am the Pastor’s wife and I’m sure people have been hurt by me, not viciously but it happens sometimes simply by telling the truth. But I have been hurt too.

  11. Dan Basham

    I took this from the perspective of a former youth pastor/ current pastor.
    These questions were very thought provoking, and helped to refresh some things in my mind about helping people deal with hurt that they have received through church settings.

  12. Deborah

    I am a jewish believer and if there is one place worse than the middle east-it’s the church. I learned pretty quickly that the synagogue is a much safer place.

  13. Betti

    I was happy to do the survey. Hopefully it will be some help in your research.

  14. Karen Rice

    I just finished the survey. You may contact me if you wish.

  15. Sherry Watson

    Church hurts began for me at the age of 15. God is a wonderful and merciful God. The incident I shared was the first of many that took place time and time again. Men are very human so your eyes should be on the giver of life Thankful for parents who were godly.

  16. Judy Sawberger

    Thank you, took the survey. Spent years at a church that did not know how to minister to me and my children. Married to an unbeliever. Feel free to contact me.

  17. Barbra

    My husband was the one hurt. Grew up in church. Mom was single raising 8 children. Church took care of them. She could not work until the older children had income. So church provided everything. The two boys also received male mentoring. Twas a male dominated [vs God] denomination. They all learned God’s word extremely well. My husband became so versed in God’s word that he became a sought after disseminator of God’s word outside the denomination at, as stigmatized by the denomination, “heathen” parachurch ministreies like YFC and IS/IVCF. So here was a man of God, who loved God, knew and presented God’s word, but learned to apply little of it. Why, the male mentors in the church were so puffed up by their skilled wielding of God’s Word that they were impervious to their own failings. There was a lot of “scriptural” church punishment for the infractions and failings of mankind. But never for the leaders. Leaders who spouted Christ, but lived rightly rationalized and exegeted lies and deception. The result was an engaging young man who adored God, understood what His Son did on a deadly cross, but was never able to truly apply the grace to himself! At age 60, God is unraveling it all. My Jacob has had to have his legs broken — immobilized, flat on his back, and when allowed up walks with a limp, so that He could hear God and realize that he too is truly part of the sinful human race receiving showers of cleansing love, grace, peace. The saga of unraveling the deceit of counterfeits has just begun but God has promised that it will be finished, though with difficulty, and so long as I stay the course!

  18. Renee Blare

    I completed your survey. 🙂

  19. Stephanie

    This is a topic that has been on my mind for a very long time. I grew up in church and as a pastor’s kid (which is the perspective I used for this survey). It is a subject that has been on my heart, and I have been wanting to talk to someone about it. I would love to have some of your thoughts on the subject. Please offer us a follow up sometime in the future! 🙂

  20. Lynden 'Lynn Denise' Blossom

    I filled out the survey and now glanced through the Comments. I see that I have ‘company’ in my ‘hurt Pastor’s wife’ situations… Sad. Hugggzzz to All! Need any more from me?… Any time – 8-] My Best to you on your Project!

  21. Grace

    I was a pastors wife for 20years, in the same church for 25 years, poured my heart and soul into our ministry only to be thrown under the bus by my ego driven husband, who managed to turn the whole congregation against me and then divorced me. With no biblical grounds, yet the whole church still considers him a godly spiritual leader. The travesty that has been committed against me has hurt me so much that it’s hard for me to trust any other leaders.
    I found out that the church funded the divorce and I believe even stacked the deck against me in the courts. And even though all the evidence was in my favor, everything was taken away from me. It was so blatantly obvious, yet he came out smelling like a rose. I lost all my friends, my church, my husband and my pastor all at once. I still don’t know how I didn’t see it coming. My life rug was pulled out from under me and at the age of 67 I’m having to start over in life with no alimony or any support, it’s been 3 years in this whole divorce process and I’m having a hard time letting go. I in my head know God is in control, but it still feel hurt and betrayed by my pastor husband, the sr pastor and all the other 18 pastors wives who were my so called comrades, and most of all by the church congregation I so much loved and served for over 20years.


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