Judeo-Christian Theology As Explained By Children
The following are answers given by students from Williamston Presbyterian Church, So. Carolina, to test questions on the Bible as printed in the 12/31/95 issue of “National Review”:
The first book of the Bible is Guinness’s, in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Unleavened bread is bread made without ingredients.
Moses went to the top of Mt. Cyanide to get the 10 commandments.
The seventh commandment is “thou shalt not admit adultery.”
Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
The people who followed Jesus was called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew.
Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.