A nine-year-old boy heard a popping in his ear. Got an earache, went to the doctor. Doc found out that a PAIR of spiders had made themselves at home in his ear. The kid was hearing them walk across his eardrum.
The doctor irrigated (flushed) the ear and one spider came out, dead. The other spider needed a second flush before it came out, still kicking.
Jesse Courtney, the boy, was given the spiders as a souvenier to take to show and tell.
Please, Lord. Anything but that.